Are you tired of your brain feeling like a jumble of spaghetti? Do you struggle to focus with the ferocity of a thousand cats in a bathtub? Fear not, dear reader, for the Great Paranoid Optomist has got you covered!
Step 1: Eliminate all unnecessary thoughts. You know, like those pesky thoughts that go "I'm hungry" or "I need a nap." Ignore them. Ignore them like the annoying sibling you have at the family reunion.
Step 2: Focus on the important things. Like, you know, your cat's Twitter account. Yes, you read that right. Your cat's Twitter account is the key to unlocking the secrets of the universe.
But wait, there's more! If you want to really optimize your brain, you'll need to:
Don't try this at home, kids. Or do. I mean, it's not like it's going to hurt you. Probably.